the third sex

Sargent Shameless has recently unleashed himself upon Pattaya, and left a trail of sore ladyboy bottoms in his wake. Pausing for breath on his return, he penned me his thoughts on the scene there.

A couple of months ago I wrote about the changing go-go bar scene in Bangkok and my main point was that while the numbers and quality of women in the girlie bars are visibly declining from 10 years ago, the opposite holds truth for ladyboys, who are more plentiful and beautiful than ever and may well be the future of the Thai sex industry.

I would now like to share also my updated view on the Pattaya scene. I was there end-2010 and, like in Bangkok, there are more ladyboys than ever. I counted at least 12 all-ladyboy bars (Soi 6 alone has five!) while 10 years ago I knew of only two: Hi! Boss, which I considered Thailand’s top ladyboy bar in terms of raw talent, is now all but defunct with three sorry looking ladyboys hanging around the premises…and Limmatquai–Pattaya’s original all-ladyboy bar off Walking street–which has closed down!

Speaking of Walking Street, it could now aptly be renamed “Ladyboy Street.” Late one night, I counted over 50 ladyboys of all shapes and sizes, including a skinny Russian one that I detected amidst his lady-for-sale compatriots, and scores of cruising freelancing ladyboys can also be seen on Beach Road (the Captain says: The Sargent may be an old hand but you can’t be too careful with street pickups who may rob you in your sleep or worse…).

Also, so many of the beer bars now have several ladyboys mixed in with their lady staff. These ladyboys tend to be the sweeter type, who are afraid to be around rough ladyboys in all-ladyboy environments even if it means far less revenue for them. I have had great luck with such ladyboys.

I also saw a few ladyboys amidst the female staff plying their trade outside Pattaya’s ubiquitous massage parlours. Which means that you no longer have to be in the know (like me!) to know where to get a professional massage (with optional sex) performed by a ladyboy.

Even in nearby Jomtien, better known for the gay action, I spotted far more ladyboys, not to mention feminised boys, than I remembered from previous visits.

In line with this expanding ladyboy trend, Pattaya also has more boy go-go bars, and other sorts of venues for gay activity, than ever. While 10 years ago Boyz Town was a self-contained gay enclave, the action now has spread to the two nearby Pattayaland sois, displacing all but a couple of the girlie bars in the process. In fact, the infamous Penthouse Hotel is now completely surrounded by gay action and it has opened its own ladyboy go-go bar; it should not be long before the in-house kittens are all of the three-legged variety. There is even a new gay go-go bar on Walking Street with the boys hanging outside in their white underwear for the Russian tourists to gawk…

What about the girl scene? Good question! There are still more girlie bars and beer joints than anyone could even begin to count. I noticed however that some of the girl bars that I patronised 10 years ago because of the choice and quality of their staff have gone downhill, or even closed. On the other hand, I visited new bars with gorgeous girls dancing, although not all were available for private sessions (a new for Thailand!). New, huge outdoor beer plazas have opened all over town, which makes me wonder if others have closed and the ladies moved or if they represent a net addition to Pattaya’s pussy count. Motorbiking around Pattaya I also spot many well staffed bars and go-gos in the inner, residential sois that used not to offer such sinful commerce.

In sum: Pattaya, unlike Bangkok, does not show signs of worsening prospects for action with girls, and, like Bangkok, it has more and sexier ladyboys than ever.

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Sargent Shameless really can be a thoughtful, intelligent kind of fellow. Oh yes he can! Alright. ALRIGHT! You wouldn’t trust him with your household cat! But he is capable of deep thinking and analysis. Sometimes. He has just sent me the following email, and I’m reproducing it here because it’s a subject that I myself have touched on before but not at length. And he does put it so well.

My first trip to Bangkok was in 1993 and I was not looking for sex. Still I was in awe at the high numbers of semi-naked (and fully naked) girls dancing and waiting to be bar-fined in any of the establishments of Patpong, Nana, or Cowboy.  Dance shifts of 20 girls were the minimum, which times two, plus waitresses, doorgirls and mamasan meant 50 plus prospective lays the moment you crossed a go-go door.  Ladyboy bars were the opposite: there were only a couple that I knew of with no more than a dozen staff each.
 
My impression over the past few years is that things are fast changing in Bangkok.  When I peek into the girlie bars in Patpong I often see as few as three girls on stage, and the same for Nana.  Also, there is little chance of finding a stunner or an 18-year-old fresh from the farm like in the old days. Completely naked girls dancing the night away are the exception (although they still exist!). 
 
Not sure why this happening…Probably economic progress like how Hong Kong up to the 1950s used to be like Bangkok and then it changed to what it is today: few bars, expensive drinks and ugly women, who will not agree to sex or, if they do, charge princely sums. 

Demographics may be at work too: birth rates have fallen sharply in Thailand over the last two decades, which means fewer girls around to go into the sex industry.  Another possible explanation is that Thai girls who do go into the sex industry prefer other venues like the Pattaya beer bars that are as well staffed as ever.
 
In contrast to the girlie go-go bars, Bangkok ladyboy bars are flourishing.  Patpong´s greatest hits are its two ladyboy go-go bars, Nana has at least four, with one of them showcasing 50 plus gorgeous ladyboys every night.  Not to mention that some of the remaining girls in the girlie bars are actually…post-op ladyboys.
 
The underlying trend in all of this is that more and more male foreigners seeking sex in Bangkok will end up doing it with a Thai (lady)boy whether they are so inclined or because available girls are fewer and less attractive.  In Pattaya as well there are more and more ladyboy venues, even if its classic beer bars with all-female staff seem to be at an all-time high.
 
In view of this, the questions I ask myself are: how long do we have left?…  If indeed the flow of girls into Thailand´s sex bars comes to a trickle, how long before Thailand becomes like Hong Kong?…And if it does, will our cherished ladyboys step in for the disappearing bargirls and fuel the dreams and libidos of yet another generation of foreign male visitors?

She was one of the most gorgeous ladyboys I had ever seen. About five-four in height, and gobsmackingly delicious to look at. She was working at a bar in Pattaya. I took her out, and we became regular lovers, because she would often go home to her province of Pitsanulok, in the north, and would stop over at my place for a couple of nights on her way back to Pattaya.

She had the light skin of the northern part of Thailand, and her neat little body was extraordinarily supple. She had a stiff little dick and a smooth hairless bottom, and when she knelt over my face to apply her rosebud lips somewhere way down below, her derrier formed a perfect heart shape in front of my eyes.

Although her dick wasn’t especially big, she was an expert at projectile orgasms. The first time she ever did this, she lay on her back, nudged me in the ribs, and said: “Watch this.” Then with a quick hand she brought herself off, pausing for maybe two seconds and giving her dick a squeeze, and a fountain of white-hot cum shot about three feet in the air. Then she snuggled up against me with a giggle.

I became obsessed with this. I got her to stand at the edge of a table so that I could measure the spurt, and I also got her to stand over a large mirror that I placed on the floor. I got her to jack off into a glass, and I got her to give a cotton hanky a good soaking so that I could see how long the fragrance lasted (not that long, I have to record). I got her to stand above me and see how much of me she could cover, and she spattered hot cum all over my face and chest. And of course I enjoyed swallowing it all.

The funny thing was, she looked exactly as if she was a genetic girl. You would not have realised, had you seen her in the street, that she was a ladyboy. But if she had been a GG, gorgeous that she was, she would not have been as exciting. To me, she summed up the attraction of the ladyboy. Girl and boy together in one body.

“Ah, Khun Captain,” said the general manager of the hotel, with the kind of enthusiasm he might have experienced seeing a new pimple on his face when looking into the shaving mirror.

I have been using his hotel for photoshoots for the past five years. He knows what I get up to in his rooms. But I never frighten the horses, I’m smiling and friendly to his staff, and I’m a regular customer. Business is business.

How’s your occupancy rate right now, I asked him as I checked in.

He shook his head. “Bad,” he said. “About 20, 25 percent.”

That is bad, certainly, although I know of leading hotels in Bangkok with less than that, and I have heard of at least two who in recent weeks have had zero guests. None. Zilch.

I went for brunch last Sunday at a very well-known hotel in the centre of town, and there were only two other people in the restaurant. I know of hotels that are laying off thirty percent of their staff.

The political crisis here has devastated the tourism industry, and the global economic crisis has done the rest of the damage. Thailand always bounces back quickly enough from the Thais’ unfortunate propensity to shoot themselves in the foot, but given the dire state of the international markets, this time there is no real end in sight to the misery that the Thai hotels are currently experiencing.

As I sit here writing this, there is news that government troops have opened fire on Red Shirt protestors. The Red Shirts are insisting that the government dissolves itself and that the prime minister leaves the country. When I came home yesterday afternoon, Sukhumvit Road was locked solid with traffic, there were pickups full of Red Shirts, and the police were out in droves.

I couldn’t get a taxi, so I hopped on a bus. The ticket collector said the rides were free that day, presumably to help mobility in and out of the crowded zones. She warned me about the jams, but I live in a part of town that is not affected by the uprising. I got off the bus at the Klong Toey port district and, as there were still no taxis around, I hopped on another bus that took me home. Actually, the entire journey was quicker than my usual taxi ride.

You might think this is not a good time to visit Thailand. You would be very wrong. As far as foreign visitors are concerned, you are as welcome here as ever. The strife is solely a Thai affair. Stay away from the trouble points, where you might get mixed up in the crowd, and you would scarcely be aware anything was wrong.

Hotel rates have never been so low. Visit Thailand now, and you will get marvelous deals. Low rates, three nights for the price of two, free upgrades and so on.

And also, of course, the entertainment venues are suffering. Visit one of the Bangkok ladyboy bars, and you could well be the only customer. The girls are anxious for any business they can get. The customer is king. That means you.

For the past few weeks I’ve been making a point of asking ladyboys who work in the bars about the level of business. Many customers coming to your bar, I ask. No, they always say, Very, very quiet right now.

Bangkok and Pattaya are hard hit. Phuket is not suffering quite so badly, as it is perceived as being far away from the domestic political turmoil, but things are still very slack down there.

So! Book your flight now! Whatever else you were planning on doing for your summer vacation, drop your plans and come to Thailand!

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Regular readers of these pages will know about Sergeant Shameless, an incorrigible pervert whose adventures make even me blush. After a few months of silence (and I really don’t want to know what he has been doing) he has just surfaced to provide me with the following list:

The Top 10 signs you are hopelessly hooked on ladyboys

10 You start going to Thailand alone rather than with your girl-loving buddies you used to go there with
9 You start fantasising about Nicole Kidman having a penis

8 You find yourself eating bananas in one single bite
7 You start salivating at the mention of the words “pina colada”
6 You learn all there is to learn about enemas and their application
5 Your friends start saying you remind them of John Wayne when you walk
4 You walk past the girlie bars of Bangkok or Pattaya and the door girls no longer bother to entice you into the bar
3 Your girlfriend demands that you fuck her pussy at least once for every two times that you fuck her ass
2 Your girlfriend demands that you fuck her pussy at least once for every 10 times that she fucks your ass
1 You religiously renew your Captain-Outrageous membership