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Archive for April, 2010

Room service

Ding! dong! went the bell.

“Hurro! I your Guest Lerations Officer! Anything I can do help chew….”

Thank you, I said, I will call the front desk if I need anything. And I went back to unpacking my photographic gear.

Ding! dong!

“Housekeeping. I come to check your minibar.”

But I’ve only just checked in.


I went back to unpacking the studio lights.

Ding! dong!

“Any laundly?”

No, I haven’t even unpacked my suitcase.

I put up the Do Not Disturb sign and carried on setting up the lights, this time in peace and quiet.
captain outrageous, ladyboy nan
Anyone who has stayed in a four- or five-star hotel in Thailand will have been greatly impressed by the quality of the service, which is genuinely excellent, the Thais being naturally hospitable people. But it can go over the top, especially if you are looking for a bit of privacy to be doing something you shouldn’t be doing.

Like a pornographic photoshoot.

Curiously enough, pornography is illegal in Thailand. No matter that you can go to a bar in any of the red-light districts and see as many scantily-clad or naked girls, boys or ladyboys that you can handle; you can’t buy photographs of it. Not legally.

This odd double standard extends also to actually taking photographs. So when using a hotel for the shoots, it is important to keep a low profile. I have heard of too many photographers and film crews being busted, and I always maintain as discrete a presence as is possible when one is surrounded by a cloud of ladyboys.

Even so, I was surprised when checking into one of my favourite Bangkok hotels for photoshooting recently. This is a place I use regularly. I make sure that my camera gear and lights are well disguised when I check in and out, and I adopt a persona of respectability; as far as possible, anyway. The manager knows me by sight. It had always been a fond belief of mine that he just assumed I was a regular businessman visitor with a liking for ladyboys; lots of them. But no.

“You want breakfast coupon?” he asked. “Or only here to take photos?”

What could I say? What COULD I say? What could I SAY?

I’ll have the breakfast coupon, I replied, somewhat lamely.

Interesting times

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A ladyboy friend, who works at Cascade in Nana Plaza, came in to see me yesterday evening on her way to work. How is business in Nana, with all the problems, I asked.

“Very bad,” she replied. “Only few customer, and they pay smaller money now.”

She said that a short-time payment is usually 2,000 baht, or even as high as 3,000, but what has been happening recently is that the payment has gone down to 1,500 or even less.

“Anything to make some money,” she said, sadly, adding that she was thinking of leaving Bangkok to go down to Phuket, which is less seriously affected. “But if I go Phuket I have to leave my Mum,” she said. “That not good for her, and I also not happy.”

I felt very sorry for my big-cocked friend, because she is a thoroughly nice and decent person, with good English, and just wants to earn enough money to open a small business for her and her mother.

But I’m afraid to say that things are going to get worse. I haven’t been to Patpong for the past couple of weeks, not since Songkran in fact, because Silom Road is crammed with Red Shirts who have paralysed the city’s business district. On Thursday several grenades were launched into a crowd of people up near the Dusit Thani hotel, killing at least one person and injuring 80 or so others.

One of the grenades came down through the roof of the skytrain station, and the system has been shut down. Part of the subway system has been closed. This area of the city, plus the area around the Erawan Shrine, has become impassable. The traffic has become so bad that getting across Bangkok is often better not even attempted. The mood is getting more and more ugly. Violence, either in the form of the army moving in to dispel the Red Shirts, or mass clashes between Red and Yellow Shirts, could break out at any time.

When trouble hits Thailand, the top end of the tourism market melts away but the cheaper end always holds firm. This is why the price of a short-time is falling to 1,500 baht or less. The budget travellers and the backpackers will always come here, no matter what is happening. The four- and five-star traveller will stay away.

I maintain what I said on this blog a few days ago. This is still a good time to visit Bangkok! The big hotels are empty. The entertainment girls (and boys) are anxious to take whatever they are offered. As long as you stay away from the crowds, you won’t be in any danger.

My ladyboy friend was ready to go on to Nana Plaza. She grimaced. “Traffic very, very bad,” she said. “But I have to go or they cut my salary. But no skytrain to get to Nana. Probably no customer. This very bad time.”

Show business

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A friend emailed me during the week to say that he had heard of a ladyboy pageant in the Philippines that featured very young ladyboys, between the ages of 13 and 16. Did Thailand ever hold similar beauty contests for the youngsters, he asked. I wrote back to say that I didn’t know of any event like that, but that I had no doubt they did take place in the local communities, probably as an offshoot of the ladyboy pageants that are held at temple fairs and by the media and commercial organisations countrywide.

Given the enormous number of young Thais who decide pre-puberty and during adolescence that they are going to become ladyboys, it would be surprising if such events did not take place.

Although many in the West would raise their hands (and voices) in horror at such an activity, it is probably worth pointing out that ladyboy pageants are harmless. As most are staged in temple grounds or municipal facilities, they would hardly be anything other than that.

The pageants are all about dressing up, rather than dressing down, and the emphasis is on glamour, dancing, singing and theatrical performance. These are not bikini contests: the girls wear beautiful costumes. In fact the pageants are usually sponsored by beauty product companies, hairdressing salons, boutiques and so on.

Apart from providing a colourful spectacle for those attending (temple fairs are enormous fun for all the family) the pageants are an essential part of network building amongst the nationwide ladyboy community. I remember years ago having my first experience of this, when I went down to the Deep South and attended a temple fair. There were a great number of ladyboys there, and it soon became apparent that they all knew each other, they all knew friends of friends, they all knew ladyboy-friendly employers and they all knew places that were looking for staff.

In other words, it was a huge support network. And these networks link with other regional networks. It is possible to visualise a vast ladyboy network spreading across the entire country.

So yes, of course the youngsters get a look in. No one would want to encourage any young person to become a ladyboy, but given the reality, at least a support network exists. And I have no doubt that there are plenty of words of warning handed out by the older ladyboys to the young and impressionable kids who might think it’s all glamour and money.

Socks appeal

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I keep in my apartment a supply of schoolgirl white socks. My maid buys them and I put them away with the other props until such a time as a young ladyboy who would look good as a schoolgirl arrives for a shoot. There is something transforming about white socks. As long as a model is small and fine-boned, the socks will enhance her appearance. I think it adds to the sense of vulnerability. A model dressed only in white socks, and nothing else, is a tremendous turn-on.

Finding very young looking ladyboys who would look good in one of the schoolgirl uniforms I have is something of an obsession. There are plenty of them out there, of course. And many of them really are still at school, or at college. Some arrive wearing their own uniform, although if I photograph them I have to be careful about badges and buttons, so I prefer using what I have in store.

College uniforms in Thailand tend to be standard: a black skirt with a white blouse. But the high schools use a variety of standard patterns, with only the private schools having their own-design uniforms. So the tartan skirts and ties and the blue-and-white uniforms you see on some models on the site are authentic enough, purchased by my ever-loyal maid from a standard high-street supplier.

In fact, the real uniforms are far more exciting than the creations you find in the sex shops in London. I have gone looking for uniforms at outlets such as the Ann Summers store in Oxford Street, and not only are the prices sky-high, the selection is poor and the designs depressingly bad. Click onto any of the sex shop websites and you will see what I mean. So I stick with the real thing.

This business about dressing ladyboys for a shoot is an interesting one. In recent months I have tended to stay with the street clothes the model was wearing when she arrived. This, in the main, is because they have been wearing visually pleasing gear. There was a time a while back when everyone – EVERYONE – turned up in denim jeans or a denim skirt. That became very tedious. But denim seems now to have gone out of fashion, I’m happy to say.

So nowadays I await the arrival of a new model with some anticipation. I have already briefed my scout to tell her to wear something she likes, and although some turn up looking a bit frumpy, others display a real dress sense. In Bangkok you can buy very fashionable clothing at the markets for dirt-cheap prices. The textiles are normally pretty good, either local or from China, and the mass fashion business is a large and creative one. In fact, many ladyboys find employment in that business, as designers or vendors.

But, as I say, it is white socks that do it. So simple, so transforming.

Crisis, what crisis?

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“Ah, Khun Captain,” said the general manager of the hotel, with the kind of enthusiasm he might have experienced seeing a new pimple on his face when looking into the shaving mirror.

I have been using his hotel for photoshoots for the past five years. He knows what I get up to in his rooms. But I never frighten the horses, I’m smiling and friendly to his staff, and I’m a regular customer. Business is business.

How’s your occupancy rate right now, I asked him as I checked in.

He shook his head. “Bad,” he said. “About 20, 25 percent.”

That is bad, certainly, although I know of leading hotels in Bangkok with less than that, and I have heard of at least two who in recent weeks have had zero guests. None. Zilch.

I went for brunch last Sunday at a very well-known hotel in the centre of town, and there were only two other people in the restaurant. I know of hotels that are laying off thirty percent of their staff.

The political crisis here has devastated the tourism industry, and the global economic crisis has done the rest of the damage. Thailand always bounces back quickly enough from the Thais’ unfortunate propensity to shoot themselves in the foot, but given the dire state of the international markets, this time there is no real end in sight to the misery that the Thai hotels are currently experiencing.

As I sit here writing this, there is news that government troops have opened fire on Red Shirt protestors. The Red Shirts are insisting that the government dissolves itself and that the prime minister leaves the country. When I came home yesterday afternoon, Sukhumvit Road was locked solid with traffic, there were pickups full of Red Shirts, and the police were out in droves.

I couldn’t get a taxi, so I hopped on a bus. The ticket collector said the rides were free that day, presumably to help mobility in and out of the crowded zones. She warned me about the jams, but I live in a part of town that is not affected by the uprising. I got off the bus at the Klong Toey port district and, as there were still no taxis around, I hopped on another bus that took me home. Actually, the entire journey was quicker than my usual taxi ride.

You might think this is not a good time to visit Thailand. You would be very wrong. As far as foreign visitors are concerned, you are as welcome here as ever. The strife is solely a Thai affair. Stay away from the trouble points, where you might get mixed up in the crowd, and you would scarcely be aware anything was wrong.

Hotel rates have never been so low. Visit Thailand now, and you will get marvelous deals. Low rates, three nights for the price of two, free upgrades and so on.

And also, of course, the entertainment venues are suffering. Visit one of the Bangkok ladyboy bars, and you could well be the only customer. The girls are anxious for any business they can get. The customer is king. That means you.

For the past few weeks I’ve been making a point of asking ladyboys who work in the bars about the level of business. Many customers coming to your bar, I ask. No, they always say, Very, very quiet right now.

Bangkok and Pattaya are hard hit. Phuket is not suffering quite so badly, as it is perceived as being far away from the domestic political turmoil, but things are still very slack down there.

So! Book your flight now! Whatever else you were planning on doing for your summer vacation, drop your plans and come to Thailand!