the third sex

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There is a pink vibrator that I use sometimes for photoshoots. It has seen the inside of many a beautiful ladyboy bottom, and consequently I am very attached to it. The other day I had used it when I was taking some pictures, then I washed it in the bathroom and left it on the living room table. My maid, who has been with me for many years knows everything I do, and I left it along with a bundle of flimsy nighties and other gear for her to pack away the next day.

That evening, a couple of ladyboys came round. I did a shoot of one while I left the other to watch TV. The following morning, I realised that my trusty dildo was missing. The only possible explanation was that it had departed with the two ladyboys the previous evening.

I told my maid when she arrived, and she almost cried with laughter. She is a country girl at heart, and in very colourful Thai told me what she thought the light-fingered ladyboy would be doing with it.

I saw the funny side of things, resolved not to leave anything expensive laying about next time they came round, and made a mental note to buy a couple more vibrators when I next went to London. I had been photographing that one too much, anyway. It was made of soft plastic, and I had been using it out of consideration for my models. The others I have are all hard plastic, and because I like to see the models put a dildo all the way up, I seldom use them. Hard plastic must be painful, and I don’t want to see anyone being hurt.

A peculiarity of Thailand is that sex toys are not available here. Not legally, anyway. Thailand bans pornography, and it also bans sex toys. There was a case a year back when a Thai woman was busted for selling vibrators and other sex toys, and although I imagine she was simply fined and had the goods confiscated, it did reveal the ambiguity that lays at the heart of the Thai attitude towards the sex industry.

Prostitution is illegal too. But of course you can go almost anywhere in the country and find yourself a girl, a boy or a ladyboy, and no one will think it odd. There is, in short, no real need for dildos. I expect my light-fingered ladyboy friend took my favourite prop because of the sheer novelty of the thing, and that it now forms an interesting conversation piece in her apartment.

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When I did Pim’s photoshoot, she told me she had a lot of very beautiful ladyboy friends. I want to meet them! I said. All of them. So a few days later she brought Anna, her roommate, to the Nana Hotel. Anna was super-cute: tiny, with the kind of dirty-sexy expression that does evil things to me. For such a small girl, I couldn’t believe the size of what she had. I was surprised she didn’t fall over. Shaved pubes too, which makes it look even bigger. Gorgeous.