One of the best reasons to visit Thailand is to meet ladyboys and what better to whet the appetite and sharpen the senses than the exceptional detail of Captain Outrageous’s photo galleries? There are so many views of each model and outstanding photographic attention paid to the exotic Thai cocks in all their states, shapes and sizes. No site I’ve seen pays such homage, so well, to the Thai male member.

However, a quick dip into ethnic sexology, which has quite a wealth of scientific info on the internet, seasoned with a dash of anthropology is also fun. Bizarre practises, ancient fetishes and big regional variations in sexual expression didn’t start with the Swinging Sixties. One of my favourites is the impossibly exotic Victorian explorer Sir Richard Francis Burton who spoke 19 languages, translated the Kama Sutra from Sanskrit and was said to personally sample every tribe or race, both male and female, he ever encountered.

Like most Easterners, Thais fit into the ’smaller’ category of cock – a sizing chart where Africans reign and Europeans come second. Not to say you cannot find some really ‘big’ ladyboys but those with fetishes for the gigantic will have a longer search in the East. And one is not talking relative size, since Thais are often short in body anyway.

Africans also have the longest, most tapered foreskins, the ‘aposthion’ so admired by the ancient (and bi-sexual) Greeks. Eastern Asians have the shortest foreskins and, as a glance in the galleries quickly shows, scant aposthions that are often baggy and seldom tapered.

Circumcision is a rarity in Thailand: Thais, except for a few Muslims from the South, are never put to the ‘knife’. Indeed circumcision is completely unknown in the traditional East – and Thais are very traditional.

Eastern people also have the highest incidence of phimosis, where the foreskin opening is too narrow to retract when erect (or at all) of any ethnic group. A study of young university males in China claimed 15 percent had phimosis against a world median of around 2 percent in adults.

The Japanese take phimosis very seriously, because it’s thought rude to show a cock with the foreskin up, even to one’s girlfriend. Going through LB photo galleries might give the idea that in Thailand, it’s rare to uncover the penis at all, even (or especially) at orgasm. Here’s a word of weird cultural advice – if you ever take a traditional Japanese bath, never get in with foreskin au naturel or you will cause serious offence and probably have the water ladle thrown at your nut.

The Koreans, always averse to things Japanese and perhaps reacting to centuries of colonial invasion have, on the other hand, recently taken to circumcision with a vengeance! Yet whilst Thai LBs seem not to mind any sort of radical gender surgery, often becoming ‘post-ops’ and having their willies sliced and diced, carved and cored into a vagina and labia or breasts and buttocks blown up with silicone and even Adam’s Apples ’shaved’ (ouch) it seems they are averse to any minor operation on a tight foreskin. One told me, ‘It not good but I scared of doctor.’ Now she’s a post-op.

You’ll spot lots of gals in the Captain’s galleries or other ladyboy sites who cannot retract their foreskin or only partially. There is often no cultural basis for surgery in the Orient – Chinese traditional medicine did not, for example, teach surgery at all. Is this the reason some Thais become LBs in their teens, because narrowness of the foreskin opening makes intercourse painful or impossible, and sometimes dangerous? It also means those LBs with phimosis cannot be tops and must take the passive role. Its worth investigating by any sexologist and let me volunteer.

Forced retraction can lead to dangerous swelling and a trip to the emergency room. Famous sufferers include Louis XVI of France, who was unable to make love to Marie Antoinette for many years until he was ’snipped’. His lack of heirs, and the rumour that Marie Antoinette (understandably) chose favours elsewhere made him disliked by the masses that he later had a far more serious condition, losing his other head – to the guillotine.

Is the average tourist aware that the Thai national health service offers free, expensive plastic surgery to repair foreskins damaged in accidents (that darned zipper again!) where every other socialised medical system would just slice the wounded bit off? Or that the Thai language has some half a dozen distinct words for various foreskins at various ages and stages of life?

Whatever, a LB lover will have a wonderful time with the amazingly diverse cocks of Thailand, from the creamy white and pink ones of Chiang Mai to dark and dusky members with heads the colour of ripe plums from Issan or the South – many with teasingly tight openings, novel foreskins and every shape or colour (curved seems almost a fashion and twisted 180 degrees on the axis is not unknown) in between. As was once said of London, when a man tires of the exotically different Thai cocks, he is tired of life.

The last time I saw him I suggested he write for a wider audience, because I always found them so entertaining. This he will be doing. In the meantime, I’m adding below a message from the Sergeant, in which he is far too kind about me, but which does I think establish that he is a separate entity to myself…

“Our good Captain O has invited me to write sporadically about my ladyboy adventures in this here blog. I have already contributed the first, Spiritual Awakening, but before I continue with my hedonistic accounts I would like to share with you why I think captain-outrageous.com is such an exceptional website as far as internet eroticism is concerned, and such a unique venue for the ladyboy experience. In my view, four characteristics set it above the rest.

1 Unique models While you will find many of the Captain’s models in other websites, some you won’t. These latter models are mostly younger, dreamy ladyboys (some in transition still) who have not yet become mini-sex businesses. For many of them, Capt O was their first shoot and some will never do another one because they are too shy and they are simply not in the ladyboy sex-industry mainstream.

2 Superior photography The Captain’s crisp, natural Bangkok-light photos are the closest it gets to seeing a ladyboy with your own eyes. There are no yellowish skins with flashlight glares, no out-of-focus pictures due to automatic light exposure, and no obvious airbrushing. The close-ups are unmatched: you can see the cuts and lumps of a boob job, every entangled pubic hair, the wetness of a penis tip, the density of an ejaculation, or tell if a butthole was puckered or relaxed when the photo was taken.

3 Capturing the complexity of ladyboy beauty You can show ladyboys as girl-whores with cocks, or you can show them as the vulnerable seductresses at the peak of their ephemerous beauty that they are. The Captain achieves the latter by bringing out the unique femininity of each ladyboy in well-staged photo sequences that show both the bashful and slutty sides of his models from a lover-in-the-room point of view. The use of lingerie is masterful in this regard, such as bridal negligees that can look awkward as much as sexy, and delicate lace panties painfully cramping throbbing cocks or lovingly lowered to expose nubile bottoms.

4 Showcasing the ladyboy dream But what I like the most about the Captain’s photos is that they give me a glimpse of what life would be like if I could live in Bangkok and befriend ladyboys on a day-to-day basis. Having my own apartment where ladyboy acquaintances come by, hang out on the balcony or the couch, take a bath, try on girlie clothes, take pics, and as easily go together with me for a walk in the park as for a hop in the sack. Just like the Captain makes me dream about in his shoots.”

Many Thais are mystic and superstitious, and the ladyboys we love, being young and with limited education, are even more so. I would like to share an interesting experience I had, and stress how important it is not to laugh off their beliefs even if they seem crazy to our rational and sceptical Western minds.

On a recent trip to Bangkok I was joined by a ladyboy sweetheart of mine, who says I am the one for her, even though we have different lives continents apart (and no! I don’t send her any money!). We actually met in the context of a threesome, when a ladyboy I dated (and now a big-cock internet superstar) brought her along.

You may not believe it if I say that we got feelings for each other as we made love with me being the ham in a ladyboy sandwich. Well it happened! And the truth is that I care for her enough to give her advance warning of my comings to Thailand and set time to enjoy with her alone. This last trip, I chose to stay with her for four days and nights, in what was another marathon of round-the-clock sex as only a ladyboy-in-love can give you.

On our first night, something special happened. I was woken in the middle of the night by her loud screaming, from what would seem to be a nightmare. Being the sensitive type, I immediately sought to hold her in my arms and whisper reassuring words. But she would have none of that. She elbowed me, stood up on the bed and continued her frantic rantings. Eventually, she explained to me that she had been held down on the bed by the ghosts of a farang and a Thai lady, who had died in that room and wanted her to join them in their limbo afterlife.

I did what any father figure would do in a situation like this: I told her she had a bad dream. But she would not hear of it. She said it was not the first time she felt ghosts, and she wanted to change rooms right away (we were at the Dynasty Inn across from the Nana).

Not wanting to change rooms, I scrambled for an acceptable alternative by quickly improvising an anti-ghost defence. I happened to have in my luggage a little wood doll from Africa that seemed magical enough, and I put it together with a 100 baht banknote and a picture of Thailand’s beloved King, whose virtue would surely repel all evil.

For extra protection I added my crucifix chain, an airline boarding pass with a picture of an Asian god, my Lonely Planet travel guide with a photo of Buddhist monks on the cover, and an empty bottle of Chang beer that was lying around and had the protective strength of the elephant depicted in its label.

My ladyboy friend seemed reassured enough by this improvised shrine and added a picture of her father that she took out from her wallet. She also asked for some food to offer the protecting spirits and I pulled out a Toblerone. We remained in that room for the rest of my stay, but everyone she spoke to (in bars, restaurants, at the hairdresser, bowling alley, shops, taxi drivers) she told them about the ghosts.

As far as I could tell, not a single one of the Thais dismissed her ghost story, and many shared her concern and offered experiences of their own. They all seemed very impressed with me when she told them about the shrine we put together that had so successfully kept the ghosts away. The hotel chambermaids were even coming by to pray and added incense offerings.

To conclude, sometimes it is better not to seek to understand or change other people’s views and just go with their beliefs. It worked for me. After the anti-ghost shrine was in place, my ladyboy love calmed down and we went back to sleep.

As we cuddled, our respective morning glories came out in full hardness and I had some of the kinkiest sex in my life thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, I was being watched by another horny farang and a beautiful young Thai lady.

Dear Captain,

My latest Thai escapade is over and I am back in farangland with some wonderful stories and pics to share. At this time, however, I would like to share a particular experience not only with you, but with the whole Capt O audience if you agree that it could be of general interest and educational for members not yet so acquainted with the ways of the Thai seductresses.

I am an experienced ladyboy punter, who in Pattaya three weeks ago made the acquaintance at a go-go bar of a rather unique ladyboy. Let’s call her “X” because it is the gentlemanly thing to do. X is unlike any other ladyboy I ever met. She is 99 percent passable (and I can spot them a mile away), the only thing giving her away being the proverbially salient Adam’s apple.

She has none of the exaggerated feminine appearance and mannerisms of most Thai ladyboys, and has all of the quiet, reserved, shy grace of the real born and nurtured Thai girls. She is quite beautiful with light, clean skin, long black hair, small everything, and with the soft baby flesh, just like a real Thai lady in her late teens. Moreover, she is bright and resourceful, which at only 20 had enabled her to become a…MAMASAN at a bar.

As soon as I spotted her, I could not take my eyes off her, and, ignoring the advances of a dozen or so minimally clad young ladies and ladyboys, offered to buy her a drink. She played hard to get, saying she never went with customers, but I knew she was enjoying my attention. I clinched the deal by offering to barfine her and anyone else she liked in the bar, so we could go play bowling and go to the disco together (no, a threesome was not what I had in mind this time).

And so we did (she actually picked a young boy, who had just come from her hometown and was learning the ropes as a waiter). We had a fun time, and then with just the two of us it continued more intimately in my hotel room. In bed she was just like the real Thai ladies: towel-shy, willing to please, and by no means horny and pornographic like most ladyboys. In the morning, we had a late breakfast outside and she expressed what I took to be uncomfort at taking the money I insisted I wanted to give her when we separated for the rest of the afternoon.

She had to go prepare a big party at her bar that night, so I told her I would go by late to pick her up again. I kept myself busy the rest of the day (including a shortime with a ladyboy with a cock bigger than my forearm, but that’s a different story) and later went to her bar. X looked ravishing in traditional Thai attire and relished even more my attentions (I brought her a stuffed toy as a gift). The party was great and I truly had fun dancing with and liberally feeling and kissing the girls and ladyboys.

After closing time, X suggested karaokeing and bringing along two of the ladyboys whose company I had enjoyed that night. Being more like your typical barladyboys, these two were not shy about kissing me, opening my zipper and directing my hand to theirs.

When X went to the bathroom, one started to blow me while I karaoke-sang “YMCA”. Anyway, we all parted in good spirits, but that night X was too much like a real girl: passively withholding sex, which meant just lying there while I licked her from head to toe, but never showing an urge to be fucked.

Same story in the morning – whereas the day before she had woken me up with a loving blowjob, this time she just stood there while I swallowed her tiny hard pecker and sparsely-hairy balls and positioned my neglected genitalia in front of her face in the vain hope of a 69.

I never really understood why she changed her attitude (my flirting with the other ladyboys? just tired? somebody told her something about me?). Given the dampened mood, after breakfast I gave her much less money than the previous day and she took it quietly. I told her I had to go back to Bangkok and would come back in a few months, but she probably realised I was just saving face.

Anyway, I did stay in Pattaya, fucked some more ladyboys and ladies, went to Cambodia for sightseeing and came back. The main reason for telling my story in such detail comes now. A week or so later, I received this e-mail from X, which I transcribe literally:

Hi darling,

I stay with my friend right now I want to go back home soon, When you come to Pattaya I will come back here I will go home and waiting for you there. I will e-mail you sometime or you can call me. Take good care.

Simply put: the nicest, most proper Thai barlady I ever met was hitting me for money. I confess that even an old hand like me wants to believe her story and feels compelled to help (but not a chance, baby!). Perhaps her story is true, and she did get fired. But likely not.

Perhaps she or one of her friends saw me in Pattaya cavorting with other ladies, and she tried the next-best move in their playbook based on the statistical fact that a not-so-negligible proportion of farangs falls for their pleas and ends up wiring some money.

I even suspect that X might just have passed on (sold?) my e-mail contact to some sort of specialised broker-correspondent, since nothing in the e-mail makes any personal reference to me or our times together (not even my name on the greeting).

So, my message, which is the reason why I went to the trouble of writing all this, is BEWARE OF CALLS FROM LADIES IN DISTRESS. Yes, they are sweet. Yes, their lives are complicated. Yes, it is not much money for us. But do you want a bar full of girls or ladyboys high-fiving each other when your Western Union transfer comes in? I have seen it and even once partaken in the celebratory Heinekens and ya-ba (a crack-like drug) purchased with the funds of such an altruistic farang sucker.

And yes….I can’t wait to go back.

Your piece, “Coming in Cardiff,” immediately triggered personal feelings invoked when I began to dissect Beardsly’s fantasia imagery of the early 1900s when I was an art student during the 1970s: androgynous boys and girls. The grand illusion of undeveloped bodies occupied by non-formed innocent minds.

To males but not females, there exists a level of sexual excitement in viewing such persons. Females prefer either males or females; sometimes both and sometimes both in the same body, but wholly functional with minds that understand sex.

For males, it would seem that the more innocent appearing, the greater the sexual excitement. Perhaps that’s the primordial thing of conquering; certainly it has a lot to do with controlling.

Of course I must also examine my own feelings and rememberances of when I began to venture into sexuality as a quasi-ladyboy myself. It seemed that my minimal makeup and only a hint at breasts (tissue paper stuffed into a bra!), long bare legs in a short skirt and heels, along with painted nails and a wig, turned guys on more than when I paid attention to my makeup – sometimes though like a drag queen or female impersonator – with long-sleeve blouses and longer skirts. And I found that high heels were mandatory or no matter how I was dressed, men wouldn’t pay attention to me.

A curious thing though that I have noticed in your personal experience postings as well as the postings of others here at third-sex.org: participation of the ladyboy as an active partner. Here in America, TGs and TSs rarely get into that role as the men who have sex with us prefer that our erections not interfere with their sexual pleasures (not that I have that ability anymore and even when I had that organ, it was quite infrequent that it ever rose to any input).

I guess one of the reasons I wish that you could come here to visit, is to see and experience for yourself how different American male perspectives are regarding gender and sexual identity.

I recently listened to a black American male describe his experiences in Bangkok with the ladyboys. Derision was paramount in his tone! Finally I ventured that his comparisons with American drag queens, female impersonators, transgendered and transsexuals, was skewed due to his inability to separate in his mind the vast differences in the gender and sexual identity apparent and those implied, in this country and that applying those standards to Bangkok was wholly unfair to all concerned.

You could almost literally hear the gears grinding and clashing in his mind! You could certainly see it in his face! Finally he blurted out, “who … what are you?”

I told him that I was a post-op transsexual (I hate that term! Transsexual! It was created by the news media and not the medical or legal community!) and that I had made the acquaintance of many ladyboys in Bangkok before and after my SRS, and that I had a good friend who had two web sites devoted to Thai ladyboys. I went on to say that in Thailand and for most of Asia, the concept of ladyboy was less the phenomena it is here in America and more of the day-to-day reality of both ancient and present day societies in Asia as a whole.

Of course during his rant and then during my own dissertation, I was watching his body language; especially his crotch, which was a little hard to miss as he grew a great bulge as he was busy putting down ladyboys!

And therein lays the crux of the whole matter from an American viewpoint: sex isn’t any fun unless one can feel guilty about it! To minimise the guilt, one then is compelled to put down the things that bring both pleasure and guilt. We can blame religion for this. But I think that’s enough from me for now!