the third sex

A friend the other day warned me about a ladyboy I was about to meet who, he had discovered, had robbed him of some money when she was left briefly alone in his room. Have you ever had that happen, he asked me.

I replied that in all my years of having been involved with ladyboys I have suffered only three thefts, and two of those were by the same ladyboy. She had stolen a camera from me, but it was a cheap film camera that I didn’t use, and it was several weeks before I realised that it was missing. The other item was a dildo.

“That pink one?” asked my friend with interest. He knows the site very well. I complimented him on his memory, because this was several years back. I had bought the thing from the Ann Summers shop in Oxford Street and had been quite fond of it as a prop, as it was a nice colour. It was a long one, but nonetheless I had had several models who managed to get it right up their rear ends, with the help of a large dollop of KY, and the photographs had been pretty good.

The dildo was the vibrating type, and I had used it in a couple of videos: you can hear it buzzing away like an electric razor, although you cannot see it vibrating because (tee hee!) it is largely hidden.

I was always careful when using it during a shoot because it would have been easy enough to cause damage to the poor model. And that brings me onto the subject of haemorrhoids.

I was taking photographs of a gorgeous young ladyboy only a few days ago, and getting quite worked up about her. Then she pulled down her pants so that I could get some up-the-bottom shots and I saw that she had a bad case of the dreaded piles. This of course can happen all too easily when something hard is rammed up the bottom (despite what a lot of people think, it isn’t designed for that). And of course, that is partly what ladyboys are all about (bless them).

But it made me go cold. It does indeed turn me right off, especially if I have to sit in front of the screen and photoshop the nasty little swellings and contusions out. You get to see them in clinical detail when you do that, and they are not pretty. And I see so many cases. After all, if you are poking a camera lens up someone’s bum, and as many bums as I do, you are asking for trouble.

Some years ago now (look away at this point if you are of a queasy disposition) I knew a ladyboy who was very well known on the circuit, which was much smaller than it now is, and who in those early internet days had become a star of most of the LB sites. She had a cute face and body, and the sweetest little cock, but she also had, as the doctors would describe it, a prolapsed anus. The lining literally hung out of her bottom by about half an inch, and she had to tuck it back in by hand. It was a real nuisance when taking photographs. Obviously she had been banged too hard too often, and the lining had become detached.

(You can look back now.)

There was also the case (uh-oh, I think you had better look away again) of a really lovely ladyboy who I photographed very soon after she had been fucked by someone with a really thick dick, for the skin on both sides of her hole had been worn right away, leaving two very sore looking abrasions. Again, this caused me a lot of grief in front of my screen, although not nearly as much as it must have caused the ladyboy.

(Right, I’ve finished.)

So, I have always been very careful when doing that kind of thing myself with ladyboys. Some of them have a natural talent for taking it up them, and do not suffer any ill effect. But others are surprisingly tight. I have examined closely well over a thousand arseholes and probably have more expertise than the average doctor. I have also probed an impressive number. Believe me, a tube of KY Jelly is an important part of any gentleman’s wardrobe. You wouldn’t want to spoil any of my pictures, would you?