the third sex

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I was talking to a gay friend, an English guy, the other day. He is writing a novel that draws on his experiences in Bangkok, and he was asking me about ladyboys.

“You see,” he said. “I’ve never been with a ladyboy. What’s it like?”

For a moment, he had me stumped. I long ago became used to explaining to straight people how it is to be with a ladyboy, the same as with a genetic girl but with something extra and so on, but I had never really thought about explaining it to a gay man who had no interest in women.

The fact is, that most of the gay people I know in Thailand (and there is a very large community of expat gays here) are not in the slightest bit interested in ladyboys. “Neither here nor there,” snorted one friend.

Gays are interested in people of their own sex because they are aroused by people of their own sex. As we have said so often on this page, ladyboys may be biologically male, but they are the third sex. They aspire to be women, or most of them do. Consequently, for the majority of gays they are of little interest.

My friend was insistent on knowing about ladyboys because he wanted to put a ladyboy character into his novel and he wanted to get it right. I told him there was only one way to find out, and that was to take himself off to a ladyboy bar and find some companionship.

He heaved a heavy sigh, as if I had just suggested he go to a girlie go-go bar and find himself a pole-dancer.

“I thought I would have to do that,” he grumbled. But instead he prowled off to a little bar he likes going to near Patpong, where they have muscular young policeman-type men and bodybuilders, and where the guys are renowned for the size and strength of their dicks. That was much more to his liking. I don’t know if he ever made it to ladyboyland, as I haven’t seen him since.

It’s a funny old world.