the third sex

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A ladyboy friend announced to me the other day that her young brother had decided he would become a ladyboy. How old is he, I asked. “Twelve,” she said.

I asked her why he had made the decision, when he hadn’t even reached puberty.

Instead of giving me the reply that I expected, that he felt his career expectations would be better if he changed his sex (regular readers will remember this theme), she simply said: “He thinks can have more fun that way.”

I asked her what kind of fun. “Oh, go out, party, disco, lots of friends, try on makeup, buy clothes, go with friends to beach, go singing dancing, have good time.”

But couldn’t he do that as a boy?

She looked at me as if I simply didn’t get it. “Yes, he could, but if ladyboy, someone else pay for him. Ladyboy can always have good time for free. Boys take them, sometimes boyfriend give money, sometimes have fan [lover] pay everything. Then not have to worry about money.”

I’m sure this was not the only reason that the boy had decided on his future life course, but I can see that it would have influenced him hugely, especially as he has a big and very attractive “sister” who seems to do pretty well out of being a ladyboy.

Thais love to have fun, and even in the provincial towns there is a whole world of nightlife to be enjoyed. For the youngsters, the fun they have is much better if no sense of responsibility is involved, and they can just party on without having to worry about money.

Then of course there is the dressing up, and the makeup, and the theatricality of being a ladyboy. There is the excitement of being part of a minority group that rebels against conventional society. The reflected glamour of being allowed backstage at the ladyboy beauty contests and the cabaret shows, of which there are a huge number throughout Thailand, and of tagging along for supper after the show or the bar closes.

The sexuality side of things will not really be considered by a young ladyboy, because he probably won’t really understand it. By the time he does, it will appear normal behaviour: especially if he has begun taking female hormones. And especially when he sees how easily money can be made.

When you compare this life of perceived fun to the lot of the ordinary young working-class Thai male, with his ripped jeans and rubber flip-flops and his paltry wages, you can just about begin to see what attracts so many youngsters to joining the third sex.