the third sex

A breast augmentation job is something that most ladyboys yearn for. When someone tells me she is about to have silicon implants, I do however have mixed feelings.

Thailand is one of the world’s great centres of sexual reorientation surgery, but there are still far too many slash-for-cash merchants about. I have seen so many tit jobs that leave one nipple pointing up and one down, or with a Jean-Paul Sartre stare, or with the breast as hard and about as sexually exciting as a water melon. I have known artificial breasts to begin leaking, an extremely dangerous condition.

I’m not really a breast man, not even when it comes to GGs. But with ladyboys, after a couple of years of pumping themselves up with hormones, they might well have neat, small breasts but the hormones will have had a depressing effect a little lower down. So, all in all, it is better to accept the new surgical job and be full of praise when she comes round proudly flashing off her new acquisitions.

Whenever I see a breast job, I ask where it was done and how much it cost. Places of course vary, but the going rate at a decent clinic is 40,000-45,000 baht (around US$1,000 depending on exchange rate).

However, and I have this from a post-op friend who is particularly up on the subject, the surgeon in town with the best reputation is Dr Suporn, at Sriracha Hospital. The charge there is 70,000 baht.

When you convert this to US dollars, the cost is still relatively modest: certainly when you are getting a Rolls-Royce job with the breast soft and supple, a proper fullness underneath, and the nipples both pointing in the right direction.

A few times over the years I have paid up for breast jobs, or contributed to the cost, because even the standard operation is expensive in Thai terms. I’ve done this for a couple of reasons. Sometimes simply because I care for the person herself. Other times because she is about to go through the ritual that all young male Thais face, that of registering for the national draft. Once the name is accepted on the roll, there is a 1-in-10 chance that a two-year military service will be required. It is very difficult to avoid the draft, even for the rich kids: the only sure-fire way out is to display extreme effeminacy. And the army isn’t big on troops with tits.